Fish Out of Water

Sujana Chand in Cirque du Soleil’s “Saltimbanco,” August 2009. Photograph by Jonathan Quilter, Columbus Dispatch
By Sujana Chand
“When you think about Indian Americans, what jobs come to mind?”, asked one of the tour guides of the “Beyond Bollywood” exhibit. “Doctors! Motel Owners! Engineers!”, people responded. As we continued on the tour we entered an area which highlighted the more artistic careers that Indian Americans had made a mark in such as hip hop music and writing. This part of the exhibit really spoke to me and I’ll explain why.
My name is Sujana and I am the lead singer for Cirque du Soleil’s “O” in Las Vegas. My parents moved to NYC in 1975 where my father was an engineer and my mother worked at the UN. There are photos of her commuting from Edison, NJ in a sari and wool coat. She told me once, “It’s no surprise that you love NYC city because you traveled there with me everyday in my belly.” I can’t help but wonder if the honking horns and crazy sirens were some kind of lullaby. After growing up in California, I moved to NYC at age 17.
Our parents immigrated to the US with a certain skill set and a dream of a better life for their children. I can’t imagine the levels of culture shock they must’ve faced but they carried on, despite moments of doubt and feeling like “fish out of water”. I had my doubts as well, once I started Arts School at NYU. “Be a tree!” “Embody a monkey!” “Channel a color!” Huh? What the hell had I gotten myself into? Classmates would skip down the hallways, singing at the top of their lungs, like a real, live musical! Oh boy. Talk about fish out of water. But, this was my dream, so I best not turn back! However, after graduating, slinging burgers, being cursed out by angry patrons and surviving off of the dollar menu at Jack in the Box was not the dream I had envisioned. I wanted to give up sometimes. But did my parents? Surely they missed the comforts of a culture that was their own. They didn’t turn back and nor would I. They had taught me through example and I didn’t even know it at the time.
There is a quote from actress/writer Mindy Kahling at the exhibit and it states (in part), “Write your own part. It’s much harder work but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to find out what your strengths really are…”. This quote really resonates with me because as an Indian American artist, I had to work a little harder to break stereotypes. I am one of less than 5% of Asian Americans who belong to the Actors Equity Association. I am proud of this fact but the competition is beyond stiff. Imagine my delight when “Bombay Dreams” came to Broadway! Well, I was in for another rude awakening. 6 months of callbacks which amounted to nothing. I eventually got hired and the show closed one week before my Broadway debut. Finally, the Broadway Tour hired me so I suppose it was meant to be. Let’s just say that this industry requires extremely tough skin. If you can’t handle rejection, you will crack.
Today, as I look back on my life and the sacrifices that my parents made for their children, I feel truly blessed. Besides, how many Indian Americans do you know that can say “I ran away with the circus!”? And it’s no regular circus. I watch magic unfold every night. However, the truest rewards lie not in the destination but the journey it takes to get there.
You can learn more about Sujana here.
Congratulations Sujana! Beautiful piece written by a beautiful and talented young artist! You are an inspiration!
Thanks, Isha! I’m sure you can relate on some levels! I’m happy to have shared the Bombay Dreams experience with you.
SUJANA,
YOU are not only beautiful! you are an astute and prolific writer!!!!
Truly, your parents are so proud and delighted with all your achievements.
It is an honor to know your mother, and to know how beautifully you were raised.
Always, be true to yourself, and keep on with al your aspirations.
Love
Addie
Those are very kind words, Addie and much appreciated! Thank you.